Hey!
The weather
has been amazing these past few days. So, I decided to wear a dress and go read
for school in the park. You know, tanning those legs a little. Unfortunately,
with wearing dresses and shorts comes not only a tan, but also catcalling and
strangers telling you how to treat your body.
I had an awfully
boring class in the morning about the educational system of the US. And the only
thing getting me though it was the prospect of a nice afternoon in the park. So, when class was over, I fetched my blanket and books in my room
and headed to the park. On my way there, I started thinking “Wouldn’t a salad
be the cherry on top of this sunny day-cake?”. So, I got myself my favorite
salad and carried on with my little walk to the park, appreciating all the
people in their firstsunntdaysoftheyear moods. I arrived at the park, laid out
my blanket, sat down and started eating my salad when…
*Ugly statements coming up, reader discretion advised*
I heard
some guy behind me “Excuse me. Euhm… Hello?”. I turned around and saw that
there were two guys of Moroccan or Turkish ethnicity (I don’t really know... And no, I am not racist. And, yes it is relevant
to the story. Just keep reading and it will become clear in a minute.) sitting
behind me. “Euhm, hello.” They seemed very friendly until, “Why are you eating
a salad? That is not going to do you any good?”. So I asked, “How so?”. To which
they replied, “Well, wouldn’t it be better for you to eat meat or something of
the kind?”. “Why?” “you look like you could use some more strength” and whilst
saying this he gestured with his hands around his arms that they should gain
mass, or put on weight or whatever. I
was getting pretty annoyed at this point and my face reads like a book. So, as
put together as I could I said, “I decide for myself what I eat and how I treat
my body. So, I would like for you not to tell me what to eat or how my body
ought to look. It really isn’t necessary.” This is when they started to sense
that I was uncomfortable. Unfortunately, they concluded the following, “It
seems like you don’t like to talk with foreigners.” I was feeling so mad and
sad because that was just not true. So, I said, “No, that has nothing to do
with it. I just don’t appreciate it when people tell me what to eat or how to
take care of my body…”. And then, before I could even finish talking, “Ok, ok, I
was just saying that you could use some meat to strengthen up.” At this point I
was just mad, “I think I am strong enough up here *pointed to my head*, but thank
you anyway.” To which they said, “Alright, you don’t have to be so aggressive.
You are making me feel uncomfortable when you are looking like that. You know,
if eyes could kill I would be dead by now. We are just two guys trying to be friendly.
There is no point in being so offended.” Now, I was just confused. I turned
around, finished my delicious salad and started my book I had to read for
school. About fifteen minutes later they got up to leave and said “Goodbye,
nice meeting you.” One of them pointed to my book and said “Good luck with your
exams.” I told him thank you.
That occurrence
was yesterday now. I was so mad. To me they were just two sexist annoying guys
who thought they had the authority to tell other people how to treat their
body. Don’t get me wrong, they did. But, I don’t think it was intentional. I
have now come to realize that they actually were “just two guys trying to be friendly”.
Sadly, they didn’t know any better. It also didn’t help that for me, like a
great majority of the girls/women worldwide, it is difficult to be in those
sort of situations in which people are commenting on your weight and giving
their “advice”. Luckily, I feel good with the way my body looks. Otherwise, I wouldn’t
have been able to react in the way I did. But that doesn’t make it ok for other
people to suggest some changes I could make. It also doesn’t mean that it can’t
hurt and do some serious damage. I know I look good according to present day
beauty standards. I have the long legs, the tiny waste, the long hair and the
measurements of a model. Knowing that, I would be lying if I said that it doesn’t
boost my confidence. But, that doesn’t mean I always had the ability to put
things into perspective when it comes to my body. I was always the extremely
skinny girl who swam at least 2 hours a day, sometimes twice. And that raised
some suspicion. People would always tell me to eat more. Even if I already ate
three times the amount they had eaten. And I still hear people whispering
behind my back, recognizing the words “way too skinny” or even “anorexic”. Fortunately,
now I can put those things in perspective. I know that I eat somewhat healthy. I
do not shy away from a pizza. And, when I want to eat a salad, I WILL EAT THAT
SALAD! There is no point in trying to be anything that I am not. I will never
have the big boobs, nor the juicy butt. But, that’s fine. I am me and that
really, honestly should be and is enough.
P.s.: I
would like to, also, talk a little bit about the racist thing, when those guys
thought I didn’t want to talk to them because they were of a different
ethnicity. It saddens me that they would think that and so easily conclude that
I was racist. This, to me, was a sign that racisms still is a serious thing. And
I hope we, awesome people, can do something about it. I am not going to go
further into all of that though. Because, I simply do not know enough about the
matter. But, I also didn’t want to not go into it at all.
I hope you
are feeling ok. And if you find yourself in a similar situation, talk with that
person. Start the conversation. And then, keep the conversation going. I know
it is hard. I am SO proud of myself for reacting the way I did. Of course, I could
have handled things better. But, it is not easy to say in the moment what you
want to say or even just try to say what you want to say.
